Inside jokes build consumer trust

I spent last weekend at a bachelorette party. One of my best friends is getting married in January, and our little group reunited for the first time in five years. 

As you can imagine, we fell right back into place—in large part because we're all still fluent in our own hyper-specific language (made up mostly of Vine references, inside jokes and catchphrases coined after one too many bottom-shelf vodka crans).

In other words, we all just get it. When Makenna, the nurse, starts explaining the internal function and process behind a hangover, we all laugh when someone calls her "The Science Side of Tumblr." 

These inside jokes unite us, solidifying our existence as a "we." When we all giggle at a niche reference to a random night in 2014, we affirm to one another that we share the memory, that we all still belong.

This is a powerful human experience. The quest for belonging is one of our most powerful intrinsic motivations— as social creatures, we are hardwired to seek out opportunities to be seen and understood by others.

(Google any hyper-specific question + "Reddit" to see just how often we seek out common humanity online.)

This is why developing your own inside jokes with your clients or customers is so important. 

As you probably know, whether from research or experience, in order for people to buy something you're selling, they have to first have at least a little bit of trust or affinity for your brand. This is often described with the acronym KLT, or Know Like Trust.

Sales come from relationships, after all, and it's easier to build a relationship with someone you feel connected to. This is true whether you're sparking a conversation with customers face-to-face or communicating at scale via content marketing. 

So what can we do?

It starts with understanding who you're talking to.

What is your audience actually experiencing as they confront the problems your product/service helps solve?

What words do they use to describe their wants, needs, problems and experiences?

What does it feel like to be learning to draw for the first time, or to be outside in the rain with a crappy umbrella, or to be passing by a bookshop and thinking about all of your unread books at home?

Chances are you've created a product or a service that answers a need you yourself have had at one point. If you can't relate on a personal level, that's all the more reason to get your people on the phone and ask them about their experience.

What you're looking for are the niche references, the inside jokes, the shared experiences.

How might you signal to your audience that they're not alone? That you get it?

Now, this doesn't mean that every business has to become a meme page overnight—we're not all a good brand fit for the Dr. Miami or Duolingo TikTok strategy. But it is worth thinking about why these strategies are so effective. 

Good copywriting is almost always the difference between a click and no click, a buy and no buy. 

If our goal is to stop people in their endlessly scrolling tracks, what better way to do that than by making them feel understood?

Better yet, why not make them laugh?

Something to think about.

P.S. My college friends and I obviously share a significant number of formative memories, but a sense of belonging doesn't have to take years to develop.

I went to Bonnaroo this summer and saw DJ Diesel (aka Shaq) live on stage. I'm not kidding you when I tell you he was on the mic the entire time cueing the audience to "Put your peace signs up!" and "Show me your muscles!" 

At one point, he started chanting "LADIES MOSH PIT!" at the audience. Needless to say my wackadoodle friends and I latched onto this phrase for dear life.

The next day, we painted "LADIES MOST PIT!" onto a small cardboard box and taped it to a pool noodle. We were stopped by several people for pictures. When we started yelling it at Paramore, we were immediately joined by the people around us.

By the time we got home, Reddit was ablaze with references to DJ Diesel's famous phrase. In a matter of seconds, Shaq gave tens of thousands of people an inside joke. If I went to a party with my festival crew tomorrow, I could yell "LADIES MOST PIT!" and immediately be echoed—an affirmation of our belonging and shared experience. 

This, to me, is a kind of magic. 

The question is, how can your brand make people feel understood?

Bored on the Internet?

✷ I went down a real rabbit hole this week with Maria Popova, the woman behind everyone's favorite site The Marginalian (formerly Brain Pickings). Loved this article she did to celebrate 7 years of publishing.

✷ Naturally I also wanted to know about her process (she's published 3 "annotated readings" a week for years, and is sustained almost entirely on donations!) which led me to this deep dive interview with Tim Ferriss.

✷ Speaking of feeling seen, this article on ADHD in adult women really got me in my feels. S/o to The Portal for sharing it in their newsletter this week!

⚛ Mini Lab: Tools, Trends & Experimental Ideas ⚛

Try making an inside joke this week!

Head to Pinterest and type in "meme format" for some classic formats, or use a trending TikTok sound like this one to make a joke your people will relate to.